I was invited to shoot Sylvia and Ivan’s tea ceremony before their wedding day. This is a common Chinese wedding tradition that even the younger Chinese generations in America still do now, with their own modifications.

What’s in it?

Tea is used because it is China’s national drink and serving it is a sign of respect. Using tea is practical because not everyone can drink alcohol. There are two ingredients to put in the tea to make this tea super special. Lotus seeds and two red dates, and this is why. The words “lotus” and “year,” “seed” and “child,” and “date” and “early,” are homophones, i.e. they have the same sound but different meanings in Chinese. Therefore the ancient Chinese believed that putting these items in the tea would help the newlyweds produce children early in their marriage and every year, which would ensure many grandchildren for their parents. (In case you don’t want children or not too soon, drink at your own risk.) Also, the sweetness of the special tea is a wish for sweet relations between the bride and her new family.

How to serve?

Traditionally, the bride serves tea on the wedding day (holding the teacup with both hands) to her parents at home before the groom arrives . She does this out of respect and to thank her parents for raising her. The tea at this time does not need to have the lotus seeds or dates, and the bride does not need the assistance of a “lucky woman.” She pours and serves the tea by herself without the groom.

After the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds serve tea (holding the teacups with both hands), inviting the groom’s elders to drink tea by addressing them by formal title, e.g. first uncle or third aunt. The general rule is to have the woman on the left side and the man on the right side. The people being served will sit in chairs, while the bride and groom kneel.The newlyweds serve tea in order, starting with the groom’s parents then proceeding from the oldest family members to the youngest.

In return, the newlyweds receive lucky red envelopes stuffed with money or jewelry. The helpers, who are usually women blessed with a happy marriage or wealth and chosen by the fortune teller or bride’s mother, also get lucky red envelopes stuffed with money from those being served. These envelopes are placed on the platter which holds the teacups.

Nowadays, this tea ceremony takes place whenever the wedding schedule allows. Most of the time, the couple serves tea to both the bride’s and the groom’s parents. I’ve been through this on my own wedding day. It was summertime and my mother-in-law’s house had no air conditioning. So we were sweating the whole time kneeling down. But it was all worth while for the blessings, red envelopes and jewelry we received. And I became a Christmas tree after wards!

A sneak peek at the wedding…